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Frank Zappa
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The 'Real World' Thematic (Live At Buffalo Memorial Auditorium/1980)
You know, you've heard those lines so many times. You go into a disco and you hear these people sitting around, desperately trying to get a little action. Now, isn't it DISGUSTING the things that people will say to each other when all they wanna do is just ga— get down to a little wholesome POOCHING after the event.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I think that it's only fair, since th— the theme of our show tonight has been The Real World, that we make an earnest effort to deal with these problems in a FORTHRIGHT MANNER. You know what I mean?
So look, I know that you— you're gonna leave this place eventually and you're gonna go and maybe you'll go someplace—you might even go to a disco kind of a place, I know how you are—and when you go in there, you're gonna—yes, you will, I know you will. He will! And so will she. 'Cause I've seen 'em there. But when you go there, I know what you're going to do . . .
You're gonna walk in You're gonna check it out a couple of times You're gonna walk over to the bar To see if there's any immediate grunt type action over there And if there's not You're gonna spin around a couple of times And look kind of nonchalant Then you're gonna look around the room to see if there's ANYBODY THERE YOU KNOW And if there's somebody there you know You'll go over and sit at the table with him And you'll look around to see if there's any PUSSY coming in later
And you'll sit there and you'll keep watching the door And then you'll watch the floor And then you'll get lucky, oh my God Here comes one, here's one worth striving for She's— She's training to be a nurse She looks clean No potential of disease here It looks like the big one Yes, you're gonna try for it, AREN'T YOU?
Who knows? Maybe you'll do good, maybe you won't, but you gotta try, because she looks like a nurse, right? No diseases and you gotta try.
So . . . She's coming in She has a girlfriend Her girlfriend is UGLY
Because cute girls always have ugly girlfriends, and the reason that they have ugly girlfriends is because it makes them look cuter!
The girls come into the disco There they are They're getting ready for some action They don't want anybody to know that they wanna get FUCKED ALL NIGHT LONG Girls that are training to be nurses with ugly girlfriends Don't want people to know that's what they REALLY WANT
So when they walk in, what do they do? They look around They go to the bar They see if there's any HUNKS at the bar They're checking out the hunks There's no good hunks at the bar There's a couple of NERDS at the bar And somebody who is gonna be a nurse later Doesn't want to get pooched by a NERD She wants a HUNK So when there's no hunks at the bar Her and her ugly girlfriend go to the toilet together!
While they're in there They fix their hair They check their nails They look around They smell their breath By holding their hand underneath like this and blowing up their nose The ugly girlfriend takes out her eyebrow pencil and writes, 'FUCK ME, YOU UGLY SON OF A BITCH!' On the wall
Her girlfriend who's gonna be a nurse Tells her, 'That's not really very nice to do But let's go out and see if there's any more hunks' 更多更详尽歌词 在 ※ Mojim.com 魔镜歌词网 Then they go out of the toilet They go back into the disco They go out and they look around the floor, See if there's any guys who can DANCE
Well, there's always one He's a cute guy He has no— He has no abilities in any field other Than shaking his booty on the dance floor But he doesn't need to Because his father owns a DEPARTMENT STORE And he'll never have to go to work a day in his life So he was born cute and he's dancing And he's out there kind of waiting for somebody Who's gonna grow up to be a nurse With an ugly girlfriend Maybe—
Anyway, you, remember, you, when you went in there and you, you saw the nurse before they went into the toilet. But the nurse and the ugly girlfriend came out and they saw this dancing hunk on the floor. Hey, this is gonna be some competition for you. You don't wanna see a nice clean nurse going off with a dancing hunk, do you?
No. Not you! You won't stand for it. You're part Italian, right? You're not? What, you're Jewish? Love your nails.
Anyway—'Cause if you were part Italian you'd get some of your friends and stab him when he left the club, wouldn't you?
But you're not gonna wait till he leaves the club. Nope. You're gonna get him where it hurts, you don't care whether he's a cute guy dancing. You can't dance, but you're gonna pooch the nurse, aren't you? So you go over to the girl and you say these words:
'I respect you for your mind!'
Then the nurse looks at you and goes, 'Jay-zus-Christ! Jay-zus-fuckin'-Christ! What's wrong with you?' Then she turns to her ugly girlfriend and says, 'Let's go get the hunk!'
Then you get suicidal. You go to your friend, who's at the other table, and you ask him if he's got any downers. And he does! He gives you a fistful of them. You want to kill yourself right there in the disco, don't you? So you eat all of the downers, right there.
Down and down they go Round and round they go You're going into a spin You're loving the spin you're in
The next thing you know, you're up and you're dancing your ass off, aren't you? That's right! Suddenly, the nurse and her ugly girlfriend have NEW RESPECT FOR YOU. 'Cause you're a potential dancing hunk. So—
But you're so wasted you don't even know what's going on. All this time you thought you were going to the toilet. But you can't find it anymore, you're just wandering around the middle of the dance floor. And the beat goes on and you're so wrong, it's pumping away and your buttocks are pumping up and down, you're really doing the twist and everything.
Well, the next thing you know you're over at the nurse's apartment. Her and her ugly girlfriend have all this S&M APPARATUS.
Because they discussed it, before they took you there, they said, 'Hey, anybody who can dance like that has gotta be FAN-TASTIC.' So you've been abducted and you're over there in a nurse's apartment, except now she's wearing black leather underpants, a garter belt, a pointed titanium brassiere, and she's got a riding crop in one hand, with a black Halloween mask.
And she's putting on Black Sabbath albums in the background.
That's right. But you're so wasted, what do you know? You think you're having a good time.
And then . . . She makes you get down on your knees You're kissing her boots She's beating you across the forehead With the riding crop You don't know You're so wasted Her ugly girlfriend Is tying your hands behind your back With some barbed wire You like it a lot They roll you over They take a hot poker You still think you're having a good time
You see what can happen when you go to a disco?
You see what can happen when you leave a disco?
Well, but not to change the subject, ladies and gentlemen, we have this song that we might as well do for you now just to end this thing off. Uh, it's based on what the girl wrote on the wall in the toilet. The name of this song is 'Stick It Out.'
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